Hello to all, my name is Maritza and I have been meditating and being on the spiritual and inner healing for about a year and a half now. I pretty much started to do them on my own because my father was diagnosed with a terminal illness and that was the ONLY way to find peace and to see it through. I have been meditating with the meditations that Kelly Howell offers and I came across the Kundalini Awakening and, of course, I didn't make anything of it except that it stated that I would:
Increase health and vitality
Recharge and refresh your brain
Obtain greater clarity and insight
Expand creativity and intuition
So, I bought it and tried it (this was on a Monday) but 5 days after I had started to meditate (Saturday) I had an out of body experience (like a trance) with my inner child. I was saying ALL KINDS of things of rage, anger, fustration, loneliness and abandonment that I had repressed deep inside me, but they weren't deep inside me anymore. I went through forcing myself to vomit, to dragging myself on the floor, through crying like a child, through having a temper tantrum as a child too and to letting out all of these things (verbally out loud) that only I knew had happened in my life. I kicked, hit, cried, yelled and screamed all of those feelings out. My energy was going everywhere, I felt it coming and going through my body like forces that I couldn't hold back.
That's when I realized that this wasn't normal, that I had to read up on it, and low and behold to my surprise this is something beyond myself. I opened up a can of worms that undoubtedly I had NO KNOWLEGE of. When I started to read all of the symptoms and the process I literally fell into an I'm not going to resist it because it says not to, but I was not ready for this awakening. Since then I've been trying to let the process pass through me with respect and reverence with the faith that I know that there is no turning back and that God will see me through it.
My upbringing is Catholic but ever since I started through my spiritual journey I pretty much do not denominate my religious background. I am a firm believer in God and I believe that God sent Jesus to die for us to save us from our sins.
Well, my partner is acting like it really isn't happening....like I'll get through it soon enough and it will all be over with. I try to describe what is happening to me and it's just not connecting, like not listening to me. So, that is difficult.
I have 4 kids, they are 1 girl and 3 boys...their ages are 23, 21,
19 and 14. They really haven't noticed any of my symptoms because I pretty much keep myself in my bedroom when I'm going through anything. But, I did find someONE who adviced me to heal with "love". So each time I felt any kind of symptoms coming on, I would just say "I heal with love, not with pain". I've turned my life around by practicing the safeties---I do yoga, meditate, belly dancing and also work out at the gym. I have found that through love you can actually accomplish anything in life...and be happy and content about it, not sad and desperate like I felt at the beginning.
I have found that through love you can actually accomplish anything in life...