This needs to be understood inside of the "context" of the Kundalini as it is taught here and transferred here to you.
YOU have to make the choices in your life that reflect a kind and loving expression of your will. Not saying you become a door mat. I am saying that you must choose to be kind and your actions will reflect that choice.
A Kundalini teacher friend of mine Glen Morris and I were discussing the various merits of certain teaching practices he would employ when dealing with a "violent" individual. He was a martial artist expert and would inflict painful but non-damaging potential injury to the person always leaving them an opportunity, a "choice" to cease and desist. He would give them a Shaktipat at the same time as the pain that they would also learn on other levels as well. Pain is a great teacher but the intention must always be from kindness. He wasn't a mean person.
As you continue on your Kundalini path you will be presented with many issues and many ways of responding to these issues. You will always have a plethora of choices to respond from but with regards to this path you are walking, the Kundalini path, the one choice that MUST always be taken is that of kindness.
Kindness can be tough and strong and violent. It can be beautiful and harmonious and loving as well it all depends on your choices inside the particular situation. It isn't always a feel good scenario either. Sometimes hard choices are made for the good of an individual that reflect kindness but doesn't expose its placement until years have passed as in what parents go through everyday.
The more you practice this the more it will become your first thought as a response to a situation. It takes practice and self control to do this but is easier with time and your confidence with it will continue to build.
As you are successful in bringing kindness into the picture as a first response, the Kundalini will begin shaping itself around that condition with in you. That will be the pattern it will follow. The fruits of that pattern will also follow.
This is necessary that you do not harm yourself or another. "With great power comes great responsibility" and your choices need to reflect that. Or you will be given lessons that will help you to understand its importance. It is a process that demands a certain re-training of your inclinations towards revenge and anger. A re-prioritizing of how you respond to difficult situations. A "right use of will". In this case the will is equal to your intention. - blessings - chrism
"With great power comes great responsibility" and your choices need to reflect that. Or you will be given lessons that will help you to understand its importance.